Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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