The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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