i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
