real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
