Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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