Small penises have feelings too.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
