That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
