I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
