She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
