worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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