I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
