forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
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i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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