rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Boobs speak an international language.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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