never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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