Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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