I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
