so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
