Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
