I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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