we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i drank out of a bidet.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
