"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
