I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
