At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
