now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
