i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
