Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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