eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i've created a new STD.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
