This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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