oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
