I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.