walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
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I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
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I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.