Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
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Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Can I color on your dick again?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
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Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night