There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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