so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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