An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
