I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize