They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
