i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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