Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
