Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
