This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
