Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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