drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize