Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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