Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
