Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
