she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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