She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
