The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
