my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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