and my herpes radar will keep us safe
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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