is wine microwaveable?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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