4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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