I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
