I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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