You're my little dorito
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
