i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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