Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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