Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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