did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I understand Curling. That high.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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